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The book of epilations.

Chapter Four. ~or~

Schroedingers catnip.

  1. The sixth most dangerous thing in the world: Someone keeping information from Me.
  2. Risk is something I have had to live with for decades as a trucker.
    1. I am pretty good at calculating the risk of driving without enough sleep, or failing to balance your load, or even transporting mining explosives across the Dry Ocean.
    2. That last one, that’s the riskiest.
  3. All the ducks are watering the swim-wear.
  4. Don't let anyone tell you any differently - you are a little strange.
  5. It is written:
    1. "Stop trying to understand the Word of God,"
    2. said Uriel.
    3. "It never helps."
  6. As I put it down, I noticed the intensity selector switch on the side was set to "1980s". Well, that explained that.
  7. You are hereby ordered to cease, desist and explode
    1. I like the sound of explosions. Everyone does.
    2. Disclaimer: Don't blame me, I just write the stuff.
  8. Meh. Small price to pay. Now seriously, stay still while I eat your soul.
  9. Feeding the 40,000: A simple application of the law of homeopathy.
  10. Can you think straight, now that the noise has stopped? Deadly with a blade, is Belisarius.

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The book of imvelations.

Chapter Six-One of Eight ~or~:

Attomaic weaponry

  1. You are not a high-quality officially licenced Rankin-Bass Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer action figurine from the Memory Lane line of Playing Mantis Toys!
    1. At all!
  2. Two eggs, a splash of Time - just a hint of world-eating lizard. Served six billion.
  3. Domino's of death. Delivering you to hell in thirty minutes or less.
  4. This isn't damnation. It's Falling. With style!
  5. You've got ahold of the wrong end of the stick.
    1. Thisis the end we use to beat you about the head.
    2. What is the cheese-verbal form of "to combust"?
  6. I can't blame anyone for not being able to follow my trains of thought.
    1. Heck, half the time I can't follow them.
    2. The other half they are submarines!
  7. A wise man once said: "Take these lies and make them true." He also said: "I want your sex."
  8. Plan C: Figure out a plan D.

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The book of antelations.

Chapter Eight of Six of One ~or~:

How To Talk To Humans Like A Native: Part Mu.

  1. I just failed to spot a Masquerade was in progress in 727.
  2. If I need to define what material harm means, you probably shouldn’t do whatever it is you’re thinking of.
  3. Dobermen are OCD.
  4. The elements are:
    • Earth
    • Air
    • Fire
    • Water
    • Other stuff
    • Vegetables
    • Dogs
  5. Time to deploy your clever ploy.
  6. Openings two hands mutagenesis wings bladder
    1. you catch more flies with rotting meat
  7. Flying tigers: the flying squirrel's natural predator.
  8. The Third concluded that the best plan of action to eliminate humanity as a threat was to get into a fistfight with the Moon. It lost.
  9. We are not helping you escape; we are throwing you out. There is a difference.

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The book of provelations.

Chapter One of Eight of Six

  1. Searching for the silver moon. To take me from my living room.
  2. I am me at Christmas.
  3. Colonnade. Like lemonade; but it tastes like ass.
  4. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck - then it is probably a ninja.
    1. Ninja ducks have surprisingly good penmanship.
  5. Sometimes when you have two problems, you realise that you actually have two solutions.
    1. This... is probably not one of those times.
  6. Plan: the name given to the thing which starts going wrong.
  7. Truncation: the process which commences with an elephant; and stops, when you have a hose.
  8. Great thundering dust-bunnies!
  9. The Ceiling is a floor too if you believe in yourself!
  10. The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one. But still - they come.
  11. I don’t think that there's any hand signal that would make Me dethrone Zeus and restore the universe to primaeval Chaos.
    1. When in doubt, defuse the time bombs.
    2. Make history? We're trying to prevent history.
  12. Looked at one way; all apples are space apples. Looked at another? All apples are time apples.

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More Evil than you; since 1932.

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Imperialist Scumfruit.

Jumping out of the frying pan while screaming "Follow me, the fire’s this way!”

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A Medusa Head without a sine-wave flight path is just a decapitated head, you know?

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Statistics are like a ventriloquists dummy. Stick your hand up them, and you xcan make them say whatever you want. But only children and idiots pay attention. --The Bugle

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All the best parties are mandatory.

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You ruin everything in the nicest way.

A billionaire bear, who dressed up in with gadgets to go ninja vigilante in the middle of the night...

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Now

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